I Am Overwhelmed With My New Puppy And Regretting My Decision.?
Filed under Care & Training Q&As
I have wanted a dog my entire life( I am in my 40′s)
For many reasons I was never able to. Not allowed as a child, then I lived in places that didn’t allow dogs. I had two cats that passed away a few months ago. One was 15 died of cancer the other 11 died of complications from diabetes.
I was finally in a position where I could get a dog. I thought this was what I wanted. I purchased a Westie last week. He is sweet and training well.
I’m however overwhelmed with the responsibility and am regretting my decision. I’m worried about the costs of raising him(which I thought I’d thought through) Both my my cats required years of twice daily medication. There were thousands of dollars in vet bills at the end.
I’m embarrassed to talk to friends about this, but find myself wondering daily if the breeder would take him back.
I should mention I live alone and am caring for this puppy on my own and have hired a dog walker.
Help.. Please..
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It sounds as if it is more of a grief issue, as you said it has bought up memories. Westies are such wonderful little dogs and you are still young enough to enjoy him. Shortly you can take him for walks in the park and meet lots of lovely dogs and owners, It can become a very social fun environment. This is only a decision you can make, but don’t rush into making the wrong decision just because you are feeling upset. I went through lots of emotions when I got my present dog as we had lost our previous girl a couple of months before and it bought up lots of feelings that I thought I had come to terms with. However, it just took time and now I think she is just perfect, like my first girl was.
I should say that you let go of him by finding the right owner for this type of dog. Otherwise, both of you will pay for it. It is never too late to find the right breed for you. These links will help you a lot to find the one. Good luck!http://dogtime.com/matchup/question/1http://dogtime.com/dog-breeds/profiles
Raising puppies and kittens is very different. They have very different attitudes and require different skills. Cats are more laid back in their attitude, whereas dogs rely a lot more on their owners for not only their basic needs, but also love and affection. They return that love and affection twofold.
Aside from his food and toys, bedding etc, which should be mininal for a small terrier, as long as you feed him healthy food and he gets exercise, you shouldn’t have a lot of expense. He should be neutered, which in a male dog is not too expensive and that is a one off. He will have to get his vaccinations and heartworm jab once a year. His grooming is not too frequent (I have a Cairn Terrier, which is very similar). You can easily bath him yourself which will save you money. If you spent a lot on medication for your two cats in the past, I wouldn’t think you will spend nearly as much with your dog, as long as you keep him healthy.
Dogs are such a joy to have, its worth your while to read up on dog care, because the more you know, the less you will be overwhelmed with the task. I have owned dogs my whole life, as well as cats and had a dog grooming business for some time. The more effort, time and love you show to raising your puppy, the better result you will get when he is an adult. God bless…
I find that it is very responsible of you to put the dog’s needs first. Yes, please contact the breeder. If I were the breeder I would want the dog back to make sure that it was re-homed to a good home. Good breeders will always take thier dogs back. If I were the breeder I would have put that in my contract with you. I think your breeder will understand and not have any bad judgement of you. I had a schnauzer pup returned once for a similar reason, the couple also had a baby. I was so happy to take the puppy back (and return their money).
It gets better. The puppy stages are hard, it’s like having a baby, but it does get better. If you are not using a crate, get one right away and start using it. Do not feel bad about keeping a puppy in a crate, it is good for them and they will enjoy the security.
This is what I did with my puppies. I have a crate and an exercise pen. I put the crate in the pen and put some puppy pads down in the pen. Leave the crate door open so the puppy can go in and out, but can not escape the pen. This will keep him contained while you’re away but give him an option to go potty. I also use this set up while I’m at home if I can’t supervise them. It works great during the puppy stage because they’re safe and contained, and your floors are protected.
On the other hand, if you really are reconsidering keeping the puppy, contact the breeder right away. If the breeder is responsible, there is no doubt that she will take the puppy back. You may not get a full refund, but at this point, you need to just do what’s best for the puppy.
If there is a next time, consider finding an older dog through a rescue organization (petfinder.com is a great place to start!) You can be selective and get one that is already housebroken and socialized, and you’ll be saving a life at the same time.
ETA: In response to cpinatsi, she is NOT irresponsible! It’s far more responsible to admit that a puppy is overwhelming and try to find a solution than to ignore the problem and hope it goes away.
I’ve had dogs all my life so when we adopted a kitten I expected her just to slot into the household. I immediately found that her needs were far different and I, too, felt very overwhelmed and quite stressed. This only lasted a couple of weeks though. She is now nine and I would never be without a cat.
I think my point is that cats and dogs require different approaches with regards to their care. I learnt about cats and I believe you can learn about dogs.
I think that you will regret parting with your dog, it that’s what you decide to do.
There are loads of pet insurance policies which make the prospect of large vets bills less daunting.
I would say hang on in there, it will be more than worth it in the end
im not a breeder of dogs, nor a vet, but i am a loving dog owner. i agree with some of everything previous posters said. if you’ve nver owned a dog before, you cannot possibly understand the repsonsibliltes. Cats are easy in comparison. (Can be left alone for longer periods of time, they can use a litter box, etc)
Puppyhood is the hardest, most time consuming, time of your dogs life! in my opinion, its worse than having a human child! (i’ve had several of those too) i never thought i would live throught it. But I DID!! and it went so very fast. If you stick with this, you will NOT regret it for a million years. This period realistically lasts for less than a year.
the odds are favorable that the time for pills/medications/vet bills in the dogs old age is many years away, WHY WORRY ABOUT THAT NOW??? for gods sake, love the animal NOW and quit worrying about what the future might hold. More than likely since you got the dog from a responisble breeder; it will be healthy and not require vet care beyond the normal recomended visits. Food is relatively cheap but you CAN MAKE YOUR OWN HOMEMADE dog food, much much cheaper and way more nutritous. make it in bulk and freeze.
you mention you hired a dog walker, why? are you disabled?
if youre disabled then yes; perhaps, the task will be more challenging for you. BUT…..
is safety an issue for you? if so, get a baby gate or 2. CHEAP.
are you away alot? take it with you. dogs are highly adaptable. Dogs love car rides. Do you work? they wont die left alone. Install a doggie door. easy. The happy greeting youll receive at the door is worth a million bucks alone.
if you dont like shopping; any supplies or meds you need can be ordered online and delivered right to your house, and its far cheaper; alot of companies offer free shipping these days.
i’m sure the breeder will take it back, but you will regret it. The joy your pet will give you here is immeasurable, it cant be replaced. The first few months are the hardest – then it all becomes routine, for you and the dog, as long as you are consistent with training. DOGS LEARN INCREDIBLY FAST. before you know it, she is 3 times the size she was 1 month ago and already doing her business outside, it only takes a week or 2 of very consistent training to (properly) housetrain a puppy. Once the housetraining is accomplished its usually all downhill from there. Sure – issues will arise, but if youre savvy; and it sounds as if you are, you can handle them with ease.
Really; dog ownership is made so carefree and easy nowadays. there are pet parks and doggie day cares. Online shopping and round the clock vet clinics. Easily found online homemade dog food recipes and a billion gadgets and gizmos to help raising dogs easier, fun and rewarding.
Let this ride out, stick with it in my opinion. The dog will give you more unconditional love and happiness that any human ever could. you wont care about the vet bills if there are any, because you’ll love this animal so much, no amount of time or money spent will ever be a hardship.
It doesn’t sound so much like you are overwhelmed with the puppy, as you seem to be doing quite well with him, but that the stress and grief of dealing with your cats health problems then loosing them so close together as finally caught up with you. Perhaps due to adding a new pet to your home. It would have likely occurred whether or not you got the puppy or had gotten a new cat. You are obviously a loving pet owner who make sure your cats had the best care even when things got rough. With any pet unexpected financial issues can arise. If it is a major concern for you you many want to consider spending the extra $20 or so per month for pet insurance which will help cover expenses if the need arises.
I think a little ‘buyer’s remorse’ is normal anytime you bring a living thing into your home and except responsibility for it. Especially when that could last the next 10-15 yrs…
Having the pain of the loss of your cats resurface is also natural and a sign of how much you truly and deeply cared for them. I hope time eases that for you.
If your Westie’s breeder hasn’t contacted you in the next day or two (we call every buyer in the first week or two to check how it is going) call them and just discuss what you are feeling. It is very possible they themselves have dealt with it or have had other buyers who did – so there may be some suggestions for you. I would give it another few weeks as long as everything else is going well, and it sounds like it is, to see if things settle down for you emotionally. We caution buyers the first 2 weeks will either be the most difficult or be the honeymoon period where puppy is ‘perfect’ while learning his place in his new pack. And to try to wait until after that to make any decisions about the ‘fit’. That said we have and will take back a puppy immediately if needed for the well being of the puppy emotionally or physically (we do this for the entire life of the dog).
I wish I had some words of wisdom that would help you through this right this moment but I don’t… Hang in there cause I am sure you will decide the right course of action for you and the puppy.
It sounds like you’re doing a good job with the puppy. Kind of like having a baby. It will get better. You also seem attached to him now, so I wouldn’t recommend giving him up. It may only compound the grief and feelings of loss you are already experiencing over your departed kitties.
It takes time to get over the death of a pet. Perhaps you have the right dog, but maybe you should have given yourself some more time. But, what’s done is done, so try to move ahead with your pup. He needs you.
Also, the cost of the pup for the first year is probably higher than what you will spend next year. Spaying/neutering, all those shots, multiple vet visits, you get the idea. It should taper off after a year, and then the only medical cost sould be his checkups, and his regular vaccines like rabies, and heartworm, flea/tick prevention or control.
You may want to start a dog fund, where you sock a little money away every pay period in a separate account. That way, if an emergency arises, you won’t be on Y!A saying how your dog is really sick and you have no money to take him to the vet. I think you know we show those people no mercy!
Again, it sounds like you’re doing a good job. It will get better.
Take care.
Westies are adorable but high not easy at first. you simply chose the wrong dog for you. Return him to the breeder. He will be the right choice for someone else. Go to the local shelter and find a nice loving dog to bond with, not a puppy. There will be one there that you will fall for. It may take a few visits but well worth your effort in the long run. You may very well be the perfect person to volunteer your time at the shelter and not only will you be doing a world of good for these deserving wanna be pets but you will go home with a full heart!! Maybe they all need to be your dogs!!
You are an irresponsible person! I can’t belive this! You are not a kid, who asks mummy for a puppy without thinking of the responsibility! You even have had pets, and you know they are not toys, they are commitment. How is it possible that you didn’t think before getting the poor thing? It is an animal, it has feelings, it is not a shirt you can give back! For the sake of the puppy, find a good home for it before it is all grown up and no one wants it. Talk to the breeder, and explain that the dog is fine, it’s not the dog’s fault, because if they think the dog has a problem they may kill it.Make sure they can find a better home for it, and not kill it. Also do not expect any money back, actually I would ask you to pay more money to return it.